i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
