Can i not drive my cunt home
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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