I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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