so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
