if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
