My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
