If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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