It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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