There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
