I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
