we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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