the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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