so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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