I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
