You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
