Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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