On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
