There is no way he is gay with that hair.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
