i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
