I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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