I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
