That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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