Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
