This dress was meant to end up on your floor
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Come on in and take your pants off
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