Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
its not stalking. its research.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
