wakey wakey hands off snakey
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
