you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
