At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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