well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
