I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
