Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
