Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
