Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
