I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
