1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
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