the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
