idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
