He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize