I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
