Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
