Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
