My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize