He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
