you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
