I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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