used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
