i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
