yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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