She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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