Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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