walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
