so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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