Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize