i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
