I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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