I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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