Little spoons don't ask big questions
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
