There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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