Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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