Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Your dad touched me again.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
