You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
