i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
