Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
