@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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