i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize