she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
