I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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