Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
