everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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