Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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