so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
