I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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