wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I am available for nakedness
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i out mim tonsoeep
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
