I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize