i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Who died my cat blue again?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
