So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
