I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
