when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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