Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
false alarm, still single
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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