But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
