The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
